Trauma runs deep.


It imprints your mind, impacts your body, and immobilizes your emotions. For many survivors, the pain lingers, whispering lies like “You’re unworthy” or “You’re broken.” But there’s hope.


Talking won’t erase the trauma, but it breaks its power. For much of my life, pain was my constant companion. From the age of six until seventeen, I endured the unspeakable trauma of sexual abuse. At the same time, I lived in a home marked by physical and verbal abuse from my parents, who were supposed to protect me. They exchanged safety and nurturing for fear and shame, with nowhere to turn.


My family’s dynamic only deepened the wounds. I grew up surrounded by narcissistic family members who denied my reality and weaponized my pain. They silenced me with blame, making me feel that speaking out was a betrayal. My hurt became their tool—a means to control me and invalidate my experiences.


Never Negotiate the False Narratives


The shame was suffocating. I learned early on to hide my pain, to bury it deep where no one could see, believing that silence was the only way to survive. But this silence didn’t protect me. Some say silence is golden, but it became my prison. The weight of carrying my trauma alone pushed me into isolation, self-doubt, and a distorted sense of worth. I began to believe the lies I was told—that my voice didn’t matter, that I was broken beyond repair and that I was somehow to blame.



Breaking free from the false narratives wasn’t easy. It took years of confronting the lies and facing my pain. Especially confronting my parents, who were climbing another mountain. I struggled to seek help from people who saw me for who I indeed was—not as someone defined by trauma, but as someone worthy of love and healing. Therapy, safe relationships, and my faith became lifelines. They reminded me that my story, no matter how painful, did not make me unworthy. Instead, it made me human.


Your Voice is Power



Today, I speak out because I know the power of breaking silence. Pain thrives in secrecy, but healing begins when we name our truth. Sharing my story has been among the most challenging yet freeing decisions ever. It’s not about seeking pity or reliving the past—it’s about reclaiming the voice stolen from me. It’s about helping others know they’re not alone.


If you’ve experienced abuse or trauma, know this: your pain is valid, and your story matters. You don’t have to carry it alone. Healing is messy and nonlinear, but it’s possible. Shame loses its death grip when we bring our pain into the light. And while the journey may feel overwhelming, you are worthy of the freedom and peace that comes with it.


I am still healing, still learning to trust, and still working to dismantle the lies I was taught. But here I am. I am no longer silent. To anyone who feels trapped in the shadows of their pain, your voice is powerful and can break the silence.

Here’s what I am practicing: the more I talk about my trauma, the less control it has over me.


Speaking about your pain helps you reclaim your story. Trauma thrives in silence, where shame hides. Talking shines a light on that shame. It enables you to process your pain and break free from the false beliefs it created.


Breaking Free from Shame: The Power of Healing Trauma


Shame and trauma often work together, creating an inescapable cycle. Shame tells you your story is too messy. It whispers, “If they knew the truth, they’d think less of you.” These lies don’t just hurt—they isolate and silence. You know healing begins when you face shame by talking about your trauma. I’m not gonna lie; this is a scary one.


Ignoring your story, however, gives shame power. It convinces you to stay quiet, telling you your pain is too much, your story too messy, or your wounds unworthy of attention. Silence doesn’t erase trauma. It strengthens it, keeping you stuck in fear and self-doubt. Healing starts with vulnerability. Each word is a step toward freedom. Speaking out declares, I am more than my pain.


Healing steps that have helped me:

• Healing is a process, and so is learning how to talk

• Trauma-informed therapy helps you process emotions

• Putting a label on your emotions gives you power over them

• Naming your shame unpacks the burden of guilt

• Treating yourself with kindness is a powerful antidote to shame

The Power of Shame


Shame has a way of silencing you. For so long, I believed the lie that what happened to me was my fault, that if I spoke up, I’d be judged, blamed, or dismissed. That shame became a prison, locking away my voice and convincing me that silence was safer than the truth.


But the lies—those used to cover up the abuse—became unbearable. They painted me as someone I wasn’t, twisting the narrative to protect the abuser while I bore the weight of the deception. I felt like I was drowning, not just from what had been done to me but from the constant pressure to pretend everything was fine. Breaking that cycle meant confronting both shame and lies. Speaking up was terrifying, and it took me years in my therapy to finally admit the truth.


Shame thrives in silence. It feeds on secrecy and grows stronger over time. Unlike guilt, which focuses on actions (“I did something wrong”), shame targets identity (“I am something wrong”). It convinces you that your worth is tied to your mistakes or pain.


For trauma survivors, this is incredibly damaging. Trauma already leaves you feeling powerless. Shame adds to this, telling you that you’re responsible for your pain or undeserving of healing. It creates a suffocating cycle: the more shame you feel, the less you speak. The less you speak, the stronger the shame becomes.

Breaking the Cycle

Talking about your trauma begins to break the cycle. Speaking out challenges the secrecy that shame depends on. Whether in therapy, with a friend, or through journaling, expressing your story creates space for healing.


When you tell your story, you reclaim it. You expose shame’s lies and replace them with truths: you are worthy, strong, and capable of healing. Talking won’t erase the trauma but robs it of its power.


Reclaiming Your Voice

Shame wants you to stay silent, but healing requires you to speak. You don’t need to tell everyone; find a safe person and safe spaces where you can begin. Each word you share breaks the mold of shame, one shard at a time.


You are not your trauma or shame. You are worthy of healing and worthy of being valued. The more you speak, the more you shatter the mold and reclaim your life.


Your story matters.

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@BranonDempsey


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By Branon Dempsey May 11, 2025
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By Branon Dempsey April 23, 2025
If you've ever been/felt silenced by a parent who prioritized their image over your well-being. You’re not alone. They likely made you believe that expressing your feelings was wrong and that your pain was a burden. It’s heartbreaking to think that your voice, needs, and emotions might have been seen as sources of discomfort for them. Personally, I was told that my emotions and my needs were inconvenient. For survivors of abuse—whether physical, emotional, or spiritual—the silence imposed on you wasn’t just intolerable; it was subtle or forced that posed serious doubts, lies, and risks that threw you into survival mode. Not to mention, how this affects your emotional safety into adulthood. You may have been conditioned to hide your truth, to downplay your hurt, and to doubt your own feelings. Many were taught not to trust their instincts, to hold back their tears, to suppress their needs, and ultimately, to deny their very essence. what I’ve learned is that bearing the pain does not make the feelings and memories go away. All they do is further complicate them when you try to unearth the past. Silence doesn’t simply vanish with childhood; it lingers, shaping who you are. Can you relate to any of this? Do you find yourself shrinking in spaces that should feel safe? Do you apologize frequently, even when you’re in the right? Do you grapple with the feeling that your presence might be too overwhelming, or perhaps never enough? If this resonates, Then your silence was on purpose, but you are not alone in this fight. My Story (And Maybe Yours Too) I understand the burden of walking on eggshells, the overwhelming need to stay small in order to keep the peace. I learned early on that speaking out could lead to backlash, and honesty often resulted in punishment. So, I plunged everything deep within—my fear, my anger, and even my joy. It took me years to come to terms with the reality that silence wasn’t a form of protection; it was a way to suppress my true self. The toll it took was my ability to express my voice. To tell my story. Perhaps you relate. Your experiences may differ, but the feelings often echo the same. That heavy tension, the constant second-guessing, and the deep ache of feeling unheard are all too real. Here’s the heartfelt truth: That silence didn’t just take your voice away; it shaped your perception of yourself. It instilled doubt about your reality, encouraged you to push aside your feelings, and made you erase your story before anyone had the chance to challenge it. but the real answer is that no one can take your story away. The pain belongs to you. The betrayal, the heartache and the disgust. But this doesn’t mean this is your forever existence. in fact, this is your breakthrough to reclaim your story and who you really are. And not who they said you were, but who healing says you are. So what if you could begin to reclaim your narrative? What if the journey of healing begins not with trying to fix everything at once but with sharing one small truth at a time? What if the most courageous step you could take was to stop hiding the story that others wished you would forget? Let’s Take a Moment to Reflect: - When was the first time you felt you had to stay quiet? - Which parts of your story still feel “off-limits” to voice? - How would your life change if you allowed yourself to be fully seen? - Even by just one safe person? You deserve to be heard. Even if your voice quivers in the process. Even if it takes time and courage. Even if not everyone believes or understands your experiences. You are not too much, and you were never not enough. Your voice has never been the issue. It is, in fact, vital to your healing process. Your truth matters more than you might realize. It’s how you take back your life, and it truly does make a difference. You didn’t make up the silence. Neither the emptiness you felt. You didn’t imagine the pain. And your longing to be known is not being over-sensitive — it’s a sign that the deepest part of you is still alive. Conclusion: Your silence may not have mattered to them, but it certainly matters to you. They may have ignored your pain, denied your truth, or dismissed your tears, but that does not diminish the significance of your story. It absolutely matters. Every moment you survived. Every feeling you buried. Every truth you're just beginning to voice— It all holds weight. They may have tried to silence you, but healing is about reclaiming your voice. It’s about embracing the story you were denied the chance to tell. Your voice is powerful. Your story carries immense weight. And even if they chose not to listen, you can—and that is what transforms everything. So what if you stopped hiding the story they told you to forget?
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